How to Make a Texas-Shaped Coaster

Summary: Regardless of what state you live in, even regardless of what country you live in, Texas is probably bigger than where you live. The Grand Canyon, the Pyramids at Giza, Niagara Falls, the Great Wall of China, the Roman Coliseum, are all good and nice, but they are not great because they are not in Texas. There is nothing more beautiful and profound than big trucks, beautiful women, Shiner Bock beer, cowboy hats, Republicans, and humidity, which are all the things that Texas does best. Texas was its own nation for 12 years and don't forget it.

Because of how awesome Texas is, you would be a Yankee idiot to not want to serve your drinks on a Texas-shaped coaster. Any not just any coaster, but one which shows off your drinking prowess. Each cork in your coaster made of wine corks demonstrates your impeccable taste in wine, or at least your very Texas-like ability to drink more wine that anyone in any other state in the entire United States. So take that, you lesser 49, as Texans enjoy our drinks the way they should be enjoyed: on a Texas-shaped coaster!