How to Make a Spider Web for Halloween Decorations

Summary: Here at Expert Village, our aim is to maximize your good times on Halloween. With this goal in mind, we set out to create The Ghoul Squad, a crack group of highly trained stereotypes which could liven up any haunted house in an instant. And that’s as long as they would be able to stay, since they would be traveling to every haunted house in the nation on All Hallow’s Eve, kind of like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, only scarier. Think of a tactical shriek squad composed of a vampire, a werewolf and a giant spider and you’ll get where we’re coming from. At least where we were coming from, because things didn’t turn out quite the way we planned.

You see, we had to make a few changes to our squad members in order to make them safe for the general public. We sent the werewolf to obedience school, where he happened to run into a group of animal rights activists. Now he is a PETA spokesperson and gives seminars every full moon and on Halloween. We tried to ween the vampire from blood to red wine and were a bit too successful: he now refuses to leave Napa Valley. As for the giant spider, well… between the werewolf showing it off to his new friends and the vampire sharing his drinking habit, we, um, kinda lost track of it. We know that may be a bit hard to believe because it is after all “giant,” but these things do happen.

Now the werewolf and the vampire are no longer threats, but we have heard reports of the giant spider going on drinking binges and webbing up large buildings and even entire towns in the California wine regions as well as in Kentucky bourbon country. It even left a slurred message on our answering machine about plans to step up the devastation this October 31st. We can’t protect each of you from this sticky conclusion, but we can offer a suggestion: build your own giant spider web and you will be safe. That’s because our runaway spider lush will think he already webbed your haunted house and move along to the nearest pub.