How does one rekindle a relationship?

I personally think it should always start with communication. When struggling with a relationship, you come to a point where money and things don’t matter. You say, “I am standing here because I love this man, and I know he is a good man, and I am not doing my part in this marriage.” We all have these periods of waking up and falling asleep where we forget everything we know. We forget that we need to be nice to our spouse in order for them to be nice to us. We need to take responsibility for what we are experiencing and stop blaming our spouses. To rekindle my own marriage, I decided to practice what I teach others. One of those [lessons] is called the Eros equation. Eros is the God of love. E.R.O.S. stands for “Event + Response = Outcome + Solution.” That means it’s the event plus our own response that creates the outcome and the solution. When you look at that, it’s like in any situation where we are blaming the other person. We are blaming the event and forgetting the critical element of that equation, which is the addition of our response to that event. I gave myself six months to turn my marriage around by practicing the Eros equation. I call it the equation of love. I had to take responsibility for my part in that equation and change how I was responding to being married through my words, my thoughts, and my actions. I had to align my responses with what I wanted the outcome and solution to be, which was to be back in love with my partner. The first step of that is remembering to keep your eye on the ball or keep your eye on the prize. What you’re trying to create is a loving marriage or a loving relationship. Being self-observant is the next step. Self-observation is one of the most powerful things you can do, because part of that being asleep that I was talking about earlier has to do with being unaware. The lack of awareness comes from not paying attention to what you are doing or saying and to what your partner’s situations are. When you practice self-observation, you’re just becoming observant. What am I saying now? What am I thinking now? How am I feeling now? Your feelings are an outcome based on your response to an event, which may be what your partner said. Don’t think, “How could you have said that to me?” If instead, you think about why he must not really understand what happened or what the impact of his words were, explain that to him. Don’t explain it from your ego. You can totally turn the relationship around. Self-observation is that process of paying attention to what you are thinking, saying, doing, and feeling. I now have a choice. I’m not on automatic pilot where I can’t change it. Self-observation is a critical period, because it leads to self-awareness, which leads to the ability to make a choice. Choice is power, because we have the power to choose how we are showing up, which influences our experience in the outcome and the solution of our relationships. I don’t even think it took six months for me to completely fall back in love with my husband and have my marriage restored. I will tell you that there are still days where we hit the wall. It’s a conscious daily choice that people have to make, so that they don’t slip into that unconsciousness and cheat on each other.